Q: Where are you from?
A: I was born in the LA area, but moved around a bunch. I went to college at UC Irvine. Best 4 years I'll remember fondly when I'm on my period and feeling hormonal.
Q: What's wrong with you?
A: Nothing! But I do enjoy making lists. Sometimes I include basic human functions on my list (eg: shower, eat lunch) just so I can cross them off and feel like I accomplished something.
Q: Why is the sky blue?
A: The sun's light is made of different colors mixed together, and upon reaching the earth's air, the colors scatter. Blue is the most scattered color which is why we see the sky as blue.
Q: Wait, aren't these questions supposed to be about you?
A: Sorry, I sometimes find it hard to open up, and I'm kind of nervous. But I think this date is going well though!
Q: Are we on a date?
A: Oh...are we...not? Oh man this is awkward. When you said let's hang out I guess I just thought it was gonna be a date. I even called my friend to analyze the conversation you and I had. And after reading a Yahoo article titled "5 Signs He's Into You", I came to the conclusion it was going to be a date.
Q: Can we just move on to more questions?
A: Yes. How silly of me to assume. Excuse me... I'll be right back
*Texts friend in bathroom "Not a date. So embarrassed. This place has no back door!"
Q: What took you so long?
A: There was a line. You know how the girl's bathrooms are, and I just can't allow myself to use the guys even if it is one stall.
Q: So, what do you want to order?
A: Whatever, I don't care what we order. No, wait, I'm trying to be assertive, so… steak! I want steak goddamnit!
Q: Aren't you being a little hostile?
A: Yes! Because I just found out this isn't a date! And I was stupid and fantasized about how far this relationship would go while getting ready! And now I'm trying to keep it together!
Q: Do you want me to stop asking you questions?
A: No... I'm sorry. We came here to do this, let's finish what we started.
Q: What do you like to do besides create stuff?
A: I like to travel a lot. I studied abroad in Ghana for 6 months, and after college I lived in Spain as an Au Pair for 6 months. I speak Spanish pretty fluently.
Q: Si puedes hablar espanol, cual es tu numero favorito?
A: Mi numero favorito es cuatro.
Q: What is a weird skill you have?
A: I think I'm pretty good at making ugly faces. I've been practicing since I was a young girl. It's what I do when I'm bored, even when I'm driving which I realize is dangerous and I should stop. I can also walk like a raptor.
Q: I just realized I have an appointment. Can we get the check?
A: Yes. I have important things to do anyway. Like watch reruns of The Office and cut out pictures from magazines for my vision board.
Q: Are you still feeling weird that I put you in the friend zone?
A: No. I've moved on. Life is too short to dwell on things. Carpe Diem. You know? YOLOOOOOOOO.
A: Yea, okay, I'm going.